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Available on Amazon Paperback, Kindle, and Audiobook |
Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do and keeps asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent?
If you have an older teenager with ASD Level 1 (i.e., high-functioning autism) who has no clue where he is going in life, or if you have an adult child still living at home (in his early 20s or beyond), then this will be the most important book you will ever read.
Parents of teens with autism spectrum disorder face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out to teach their adolescent how to become independent adults. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."
Parents face issues such as college preparation, vocational training, teaching their child to live independently, and, if necessary, providing lifetime financial support for their child. Meanwhile, their immature teenager on the autism spectrum is often indifferent – and even hostile – to these concerns.
As you were raising your child, you imagined how he would be when he grew up. Maybe you envisioned him going to college, learning a skilled trade, getting a good job, or beginning his own family. But now that (once clear) vision may be dashed. You may be grieving the loss of the child you wish you had.
The number of adult children with an autism spectrum disorder who are still living at home has tripled. Here are the top 4 factors contributing to this phenomenon:
1. They are Cautious or Clueless— They are unsure how to discover their ideal career path. They approach college with a trial-and-error mindset, only to find out that it is not what they expected. Some ASD college students, for example, those who had an all-consuming interest in video games, may see college as little more than a “ticket” to a job as a computer programmer. This student will likely face some rather serious adjustment issues when he discovers he must complete certain required classes unrelated to computer programming.
- Is your child 25-years-old chronologically, but more like a 10-year-old emotionally?
- Is your adult child living at home doing NOTHING?!
- Are you concerned that you will be taking care of him well into his 30s?
- Do you have serious doubts that he will be able to “make it in life”?
- Does the thought of him “living on his own” worry you beyond measure?
- Is he more concerned with video games than getting a degree, learning a skill, finding a job, or dating?
The number of adult children with an autism spectrum disorder who are still living at home has tripled. Here are the top 4 factors contributing to this phenomenon:
1. They are Cautious or Clueless— They are unsure how to discover their ideal career path. They approach college with a trial-and-error mindset, only to find out that it is not what they expected. Some ASD college students, for example, those who had an all-consuming interest in video games, may see college as little more than a “ticket” to a job as a computer programmer. This student will likely face some rather serious adjustment issues when he discovers he must complete certain required classes unrelated to computer programming.
2. They Are Unprepared— They are overwhelmed or unmotivated to live independently. They would rather play it safe by occupying the family home, playing computer games, and delivering pizza. Adult children on the spectrum don't move out because they've got it made!
3. They Have Mounting Debt— They have accumulated significant credit card debt, and moving back in with their parents is a way to pay it off.
4. They Have Personal Problems— They don't have effective life-coping skills, have failed relationships, are grieving some other loss, or wrestling with a challenging life event.
The idea of being independent can be frightening for older teens on the spectrum – and equally scary for parents. This can be due to:
- picking up on the fears of their parents and not being prepared to take risks
- needing extra care because of their condition in the early part of their life
- parents wanting to protect their "special needs" child from negative experiences in the wider community
- the understandable difficulty for parents to ‘let go’ of a child for whom they have given up a great deal and who they love unconditionally
Have you tried for several months - or years
to motivate your child to do something with his life?
to motivate your child to do something with his life?
Do you feel as though you have
“tried everything” but nothing works?
“tried everything” but nothing works?
Those Days Are Over!
Now You Will Discover the Secrets to
Motivating the Unmotivated
An autism spectrum disorder is a lifelong condition, but ASD teens and young adults can develop coping skills to “make it in life” and to function just as efficiently as their neurotypical counterparts.
=> Most adults on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum lead a fulfilling life professionally as well as personally.
=> Most of them marry and have children.
=> Most are able to work in mainstream jobs successfully.
Now is the time to begin promoting independence and self-reliance in your older child. The longer you wait, the more difficult your job will be - and the less motivated your child will be to grow emotionally, socially, financially, and vocationally.
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| Mark Hutten, M.A. |
Mark Hutten, M.A., is the creator of Online Parent Support, LLC with a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology. He is a parent-coach with more than 30 years of experience. He has worked with hundreds of children, teens, and adults with ASD Level 1. He presents workshops and runs training courses for parents, teachers, marriage counselors, and other professionals who deal with autism. Also, Mark is a prolific author of articles and ebooks on the subject.
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